看看你，多心：空氣人形

Journal Jan. 21, 2010

二零壹零年一月二十一日 觀影札記

by JClittlespy

看看妳，多心：Air Doll 空氣人形 (Kuki Ningyo)

I went to watch “Air Doll”（空氣人形） this morning. The film is directed by Hirokazu Kore-eda（是枝裕和）, who also directed “Nobody Knows”（無人知曉的夏日清晨） and “Still Walking”（橫山家之味）,both of which I have seen and felt for. What originally appealed to me about this film was the scoring of it by World’s End Girlfriend. I’ve always loved WEG for their open, spacious soundscape. Katsuhiko Maeda’s（前田勝彥, aka World’s End Girlfriend）sound, though dark and moody sometimes, often suggests a fantasy world, a wonderland falling yesterday. I have seen the live performance of WEG a few years back, and still remember shivering with a mixed feeling of cold, excitement and pleasure when embraced in the soundscape they produced. Maybe it was the nostalgic lament that evoked my déjà vu. Another thing appealed to me about this film was Bae Doo-Na（裴斗娜）, the lead actress of the film. She is probably one of the most versatile actresses in Korea, if I may say so. Like many have said, she is no classical screen beauty, but in Tom Mes’ beautifully put words, “she combines such contradictory traits as innocence, eroticism, cuteness, vulnerability, and inhuman outlandishness.”

今天早上去看了《空氣人形》，是枝裕和導演的片，同樣是他導演的《無人知曉的夏日清晨》、《橫山家之味》，兩部我看過都頗有感受。最初吸引我注意《空氣人形》的是電影配樂，它的配樂由World’s End Girlfriend擔綱。我一直很喜愛WEG作品音景的開闊空間感。前田勝彥（也就是World’s End Girlfriend）的聲響雖然有時幽暗陰鬱，卻讓聽者心中浮現一個夢幻世界，一個消逝於昨日的幻境。幾年前我去聽過WEG的現場演出，現在依然記得當時環繞在他們創造出的音景中，因為一種混雜了蒼冷、激動、愉悅的感覺而不住顫抖。或許是鄉愁式的輓歌引發了我的既視感襲擊。這部片另一個吸引我注意的是女主角裴斗娜，如果問我的話，我會說她大概是我心目中面向最多元的韓國女演員。如同許多人認為，她並非典型的銀幕美女，但是，套用Tom Mes漂亮的形容，她結合了純真、情慾、可愛機靈、脆弱敏感和奇異非凡等衝突的特質。

Air doll, as a outright metaphor, tells a story of people who are empty inside and need to be filled by the presence and companionship of others. The camera wanders through a catalogue of quirks and foibles of people in a small town, taking the time to gaze at them, to the extent that it seems forget to make narrative sense. But the crystal-clear images by cinematographer Lee Ping-Bing（李屏賓）make so perfect lyrical sense, that they are really worth the time and patience to appreciate. Lee’s track shots of those local figures “who lead solitary existences like planets forever encircling their own orbits,” bring us to see the world with childlike curiosity. We become the Other to those people we gazed at. By watching them, we try to find or project the un-substitutable and in-disposable essence in them and in ourselves, echoing what the ailing old man who air doll befriended with said in the film: Life contains its own absence, which only the other can fill.

空氣人形，作為一個明顯的隱喻，訴說關於人們內在的空缺需要透過他人的存在與陪伴來填滿的故事。鏡頭在小鎮中一系列人們的怪癖與缺陷中漫步遊走，花時間耐心凝視，有時到了幾乎忘記敘事進展的地步，然而，攝影師李屏賓透明感的鏡頭畫面載滿情感詩意，很值得花時間和耐心去領會。攝影鏡頭跟隨地方上這些孤獨在自己軌道上旋轉的星球般的人物移動，引領我們以孩童的好奇心去觀看，從而成為這些我們凝視的人的他者，透過觀看他們，我們試圖在他們和我們自身找出或投射無法替代和不可丟棄的本質，呼應了片中空氣人形結交的生病老人所說的：生命包含了其本身的空缺，只有他人可以填注。

“When we look and look away, we reveal what we want and what we lack,” said Sheila Heti in an article about urban landscape. Why do we steal glances at people? What are we afraid we’ll see if we look into a stranger’s eye? If to really look into someone’s eyes is to acknowledge and recognize how the person is like you or everyone you know and love, then by looking you somehow become responsible for the person, just as you are responsible for yourself and those you love. This kind of engagement may be what we want and what we lack, but still, we look away, from ourselves and others, for it is often exhausting to sustain a heart so big. We breathe in, breathe out, and fail at keeping ourselves or others constantly filled. Once we look and be looked at, we grow hearts, just like the air doll at the beginning of the film. Once we have hearts there will always be the feeling of absence, the sadness of something missing, the nostalgic longing for something lost.

「當我們注視然後移開目光，便透露了有所求和有所欠缺。」這是Sheila Heti在一篇關於都市地景的文章中說道的一句話。我們為何總是偷瞥他人？我們害怕直視他人眼睛時會看見什麼？如果確實看進一個人的眼底是在確知並承認對方與我們自身或我們所愛的人們如何相像，那麼，透過注視，我們不知怎麼的就變得對那個人產生責任，就像我們對自己和自己所愛的人感覺有責任一樣。這樣的緊密關連可能是我們所求也是所欠缺的，但是，我們還是會對自己和他人別過頭不看，因為擁有並持續這麼大的一顆心是令人疲憊不堪的。我們吸進空氣、呼出空氣，永遠無法成功保持自己或他人滿足。一旦我們注視或被注視了，就多了心，就像空氣人形在電影開頭忽然有了心一樣。一旦我們多了心，就永遠會感覺到欠缺、感覺到失去的悲傷、感覺對失落之物的鄉愁渴望。

The essence that fills us may be so light so airy, and could be breathed out completely when the day comes, yet most of us seem never stop looking for something when looking into the eyes of others and our own. In the fairy tale of little mermaid, she is willing to give up her utopian life in the sea, her 300 years lifespan and her tongue, in exchange for legs so she can live the life of human and possibly gain a soul if the prince love her and marries her, for then a part of his soul will flow into her. What a foolish and risky choice. After all, the prince married another person and little mermaid die brokenhearted and dissolved into sea foam. Nevertheless, let’s not forget that little mermaid, thought body dissolved, has earn her own eternal soul for she had taken the time to strive with all her heart to love, for those who have heart and do not afraid to truly live and love will not cease to exist and will turn into eternal spirits, Daughters of Air.

At least, that’s how the story goes.

雖然填滿我們的那些東西本質可能如此輕盈飄渺，總有一天會完全被呼出殆盡，但是大多數人在看入自己和他人眼底時還是從不停止找尋什麼。在小美人魚的童話故事裡，小美人魚自願放棄她在海中烏托邦的生活，放棄她三百年的壽命和她的舌頭，只為了交換一雙腿，好讓她能活得像人類一樣，也交換她得到靈魂的可能性，然而只有王子愛她並與她結婚，王子的一部分靈魂才會注入她體內讓她得到靈魂。真是一個既傻又危險的選擇，畢竟，最後王子結婚的對象是另一個人，而小美人魚心碎的死去並且化為海中的泡沫了。儘管如此，但我們也不能忘記，小美人魚雖然身體消失了，終究卻因為她付出了時間，全心全意掙扎去愛，而得到了永恆的靈魂，因為擁有心並且不害怕真正去活去愛的人，就不會停止存在，而會轉化為永恆的空氣精靈。

至少，在故事裡是這麼說的。